Little Lucky Miracles....

So much has happened in the past few days. I first thought my CT scan was super duper scary and then it turned out to be more or less minor, I've had drama with doctors, and got wiped out by last Saturday's gigs. I mean, wiped on the floor like wax paste. Then tonight I had a 2 and a half hour performance at a little cabaret bar in downtown Pittsburgh and, lo, it went fabulously. What!@?!? Could it be I might finally have internal energy reserves, after 9 months? 


Or maybe all I need to enjoy performance is lots of spaces in between. I improvised endings and fiddled around on the piano with beginnings and did things I've never done before. It's ridiculous to have my last show of summer be so good, and from out of the blue.


In all my apparently unlucky days I stand here in wonder at a lucky one. 


There is a poem by Saint John of the Cross, quoted in the book I'm currently reading "The Ecstatic Journey" by Sophy Burnam. I feel like quoting it, too:

Once in the dark of night

when love burned bright with yearning, I arose

(O windfall of delight!)

and how I left none knows --

dead to the world my house, in dull repose;

--------

There in the lucky dark,

in secret, with all sleepers heavy-eyed;

no sign for me to mark,

no other light, no guide

except for my heart -- the fire, the fire inside!